Strollers knocked Horizontal in 20 over-a side* classic

By Craig Murray

(*Not T20, as there were no fielding restrictions, “powerplays”, annoying music, dickheads in fancy dress or f***ing mascot derbies. Just Cricket).

Game 1
Under lowering skies with the wind blowing a gale at Ferme Park, the Horizontals attempted to gain revenge for their defeat at Winchmore Hill earlier in the season. 40 overs a side was agreed, Webster down the hill, Scally up. The Strollers had pregressed to 40-3 in the 10th over (brilliant runout by the skipper, with Matt and Dave each hitting the stumps) before heavy drizzle gave way to proper rain.
The more Northerly Horizontals were insistent that it was nothing and we’d soon be back on, whilst certain members of the SSS (Soft Southern Shandydrinkers) contingent threw up their hands, declared we were all doomed and demanded we go to the bar so they could nurse their hangovers. Then it stopped raining, frantic efforts were made to sweep water from the pitch, and the Captains agreed to take an early tea, abandon the original game as a draw and play 20 overs a side.
Tea-its food lads, you’ve had it before.

Game 2
This turned out to be one of the most enjoyable games this correspondent can remember, a chessmatch on a rollercoaster with a denoument tenser than The French Connection.
Horizontals batted first by agreement, with an intriguing opening pair of Dave Scally and Rob McLeod. These two rattled along at a run a ball, no easy task on a drying pitch that was keeping a wee bit low. Rob was bowled by Connell for an aggressive 18. Murray didn’t hang around for his 4, undone by one that stopped in the pitch. His departure brought Barry to the crease, and during the Horizontals best partnership of the innings (31) he became the ‘Zontals leading runscorer of all time. At 59 for 2 the ‘Zontals were looking at pushing on to 120+, but unfortunately Graham Holmes had other ideas. In an extraordinary spell of 4-0-14-5 he shifted Barry (bowled), Dave (ct short extra), Simon B (astonishing catch by Connell on the square leg boundary, about which the fielder appeared to know very little), Stiven (bowled) and Webster (c&b). This spell was rendered particularly annoying for the umpiring Murray, as batsmen came and went, seemingly phased by Scally’s left handed leg stump batting mark. Towards the end Craig simply adopted a world-weary tone and sighed “off-stump” at each new incumbent of the crease.
(Also, an incident of immense hilarity occurred. Returning the ball from the square leg boundary, James Connell, hearing his captains cry of “easy”, hurled the ball with his full might one bounce back to the keeper. At least I’m guessing that was the plan, as his throw struck the prone Simon Boughey flush on the ankle, necessitating the fielder attending the pavilion for running repairs. Once everyone (except Simon) had stopped laughing it was on with the game).
Thankfully (for both the ‘Zontals cause and Murray’s state of mind), cometh the hour, cometh the left-handed man. Pete Fairbairn (sporting brand new WHCC cap, presented by Craig as Chris was in the bog) proceeded to crack 29 as all around him faltered. The Horizontal total had been dragged to 102 (in the 18th over) when Pete was last out trying to sweep Spencer.

A disappointing total it seemed particularly as the drying pitch appeared to be making batting conditions easier. The Strollers had to be confident of achieving a run rate of 5-ish per over, given Ferme Park’s cosy dimensions.
Horizontal bowlers had other ideas. Chris began down the hill, tidy all the while. Craig struck with his first ball trapping the dangerous Dicky Betts lbw. His second over produced a wicket maiden, and further tight stuff resulted in his four overs costing only 11. Chris finished his spell of four going for just 12, a caught behind decision not going his way. These two were replaced by Glenn and Matt, Glenn’s first over producing the wicket of Spencer, Scally making a difficult catch look easy at long-off. Glenn’s next over was even more productive, Craig comfortably catching Sturm at long-off before the Strollers skipper was run out. When Scally, replacing Glenn so Chris could fiddle about with his bowlers, bowled Graham Holmes the Strollers were staring down the barrel at approx. 40-6.
But chasing such a low score it only took one partnership to tip the balance back in the Strollers favour. Micky Leighton (age and guile) and James Connell (a Mongoose and a good eye) proceeded to make merry as the score inexorably mounted. Boundaries were struck, catches were dropped (Chris x 2, Stiven, Barry-the world turned upside down!) and tempers began to fray. Seeing the ball in the field was becoming increasingly difficult, thanks to the setting sun. Thank god Richard wasn’t playing, or he may have run out of hats to fling to the ground .
Webster, perhaps lacking variety, completed his spell wicketless. Rob McLeod twirled a tidy over before Chris decided that seam was the way to win it.. Scally crucially broke the pairing, bowling Connell for an excellent 26. Glenn then dismissed Boughey c&b for 1 to set up a grandstand finish-knife edge, seat edge stuff.
1 over. Seven runs. That’s all that it came down to. The over was to be bowled by Glenn. Clearly relishing the task, despite eyes full of sheer terror, Glenn propelled 5 deliveries for just 3 runs. A wide was called, but immediately withdrawn when it was pointed out to the umpire that it can’t be wide if it hits the batsman.
1 ball . Four runs. Glenn to Micky Leighton , a conflict of the gods. Fielders were dispatched to the boundary (except Pete, who considers such shenanigans unsportsmanlike).Glenn unleashed a veritable thunderbolt at middle stump. The batsman, calling on vast experience, was somehow able to fashion a shot that just might do it, a skier to long-off. Breath was baited, as 21 men simultaneously thought “Thank Christ that’s not coming to me”. Not Dave Scally-he was thinking (once he’d spotted the ball in gloom) “Shit, that’s coming to me”. Or was he? As the ball reached the apex of its parabola and began to hurtle earthwards Stone-Cold Scally eased himself into position, holding the fate of every other player in his hands. And a split second later he held the ball, inches from the boundary string, an excellent catch taken under pressure-victory quite literally clutched from the jaws of defeat. A-whooping and a-hollering ensued amongst younger ‘Zontals, no doubt inspired by the unseemly displays of modern professional sportsmen on television. Thankfully there were no corresponding tears from the Strollers, their players recognising that it was, after all, just a game.

But what a game.

Ferme Park boundary action Blue: Sturm - Ct Murray b Winteringham Yellow: Fowler - Ct Scally b Winteringham Red: Leighton - Ct Scally b Winteringham Orange: Connell - SIX (note shorter distance)