Horizontals Dixed by Kyle

A bright, warm and sunny day in full blooming Spring at one of the most picturesque grounds the Horizontals have ever played on. What could possibly go wrong?
For reasons still obscure Glenn was unable to join us, so we took the field with ten, whilst senior members of the side left the great lummox messages of support.
Skipper for the day, Richard Burgess won the toss and elected to bat, opening himself with Alastair Gaskell. It soon became apparent that the KPCC new ball pair of South African, Kyle Dix (remember that name) and Hutchinson would cause problems with pace and bounce, but nevertheless the ‘Zontals made steady progress until Al (5) was caught in the 9th over off Dix (17-1). At 4th slip. Two balls later Richard (10) followed, bowled by Dix (17-2). Mercifully the KPCC skipper Woods withdrew Dix at this point (5-4-2-2).
This brought Australian Chris Englefield (on debut) to the crease, and he was soon to depart for 2, bowled by Briers with a well disguised slower ball (29-3). Thus came together the inform Ian Porton and Stiven Bordin. These two proceeded to put together the most productive ‘Zontals partnership of the match (78), Stiven particularly harsh on anything short outside the off stump, steering several boundaries through the vacant third-man area.
The introduction of the leg spin of Simpson was to undo the baggy claret middle order with Ian caught insouciantly by Hutchinson at midwicket for 36, (107-4) before Nikhil Bajaj (0) was perhaps harshly adjudged lbw by the debutant umpire Englefield. This brought Craig Murray to the crease, and he was able to applaud Stiven reaching a well deserved half century (53) , before the other ‘Zontal Aussie was promptly caught at slip by Woods off a ripping leg break that gripped and climbed.
TV’s Matt Webster (0), oozing charisma, then punched Simpson to Sargeant at cover leaving 7 overs to be negotiated by Craig, David Scally and Roger Skipper. The awkward left arm over of the tall Sargeant was proving something of a handful , with Craig taking several blows to the body. At the other end Simpson continued in search of his fivefer, the former ‘ Zontals skipper chancing his arm to belt a few muscular boundaries over mid-on.
David was then bowled by Sargeant with a ball that kept a little low (168-8), but Craig (26*) and Roger (3*) negotiated the last couple of overs to leave the ‘Zontals on 172-8 from 40 overs, perhaps 10-20 runs short of par. Or so they thought.

Tea was an enjoyable affair, a wide selection of sandwiches and fresh fruit against a backdrop of Arsenal v Chelsea. Indeed, the only possible improvement would have been a plateful of hardboiled eggs!

So, the KPCC reply. Richard threw the ball to Webster, who charged in to the KPCC openers Digweed and that man Dix. To say what followed over the next few overs was a chastening experience for all bowlers concerned is something of an understatement. Dix took charge, unfurling a withering array of strokes which, if a little over reliant on the aerial route, were mostly chanceless. Scally (5-0-44-1)* picked up Digweed (7) but KPCC were going at 8 an over. Webster (4-0-31-0)* was withdrawn in disarray and Roger introduced. Dix then chipped Roger up in to the offside, only for Englefield to cap his great debut by grassing the chance. There were to be no more as Dix dispatched Roger (3-0-40-0)* for 3 sixes in one over before finally perishing, bowled by Nikhil for 122. At the other end Craig (5-0-22-1)* picked up the adhesive E.Jones lbw for 16, but whilst the match continued the contest was long since over. Nikhil (3.2-0-26-2)* still had time to bowl Woods, but Simpson flicked the very next ball through fine leg to take KPCC to 174-4 (in 20.2 overs), and a comprehensive victory.
In the bar dark rumours of professionalism were quashed when Dix revealed he usually turned for KPCC’s 2nd XI. Gumph! Oh yes, and Stiven bought a jug for his fifty, whilst fondly reminiscing on the charismatic Webster’s brown linen summer jacket. The only outstanding item for committee consideration then being to identify a scapegoat for defeat, Glenn’s name was unanimously returned.
The ‘Zontals then wended their weary ways home, to lick their wounds and gird their loins for the challenges to come. And, for the bowlers at least, to pray young Master Dix is somehow recalled to SA to coincide with next year’s fixture.

 

* The bowlers would like to point out that most of these runs were conceded through exactly the areas where Glenn had been due to field. Even the sixes. So it's all his fault. Oh yes.